I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. Margaret Thatcher
As you are no doubt aware, this is a leap year. This means that for those of us who wish there were more than 24 hours in a day, or looking for that extra day…well, this week you get it!!! And you don’t get another leap day for another four years, so if this is especially important to you, live it up. It comes less often than Christmas and you don’t need to shop for it.
But that extra day isn’t feeling like very much in the grand scheme of things (I’m working overtime on the leap day). Truthfully, I am feeling a little crabby, a little less than patient with myself these days. I’ve been looking at my writing goals and guess what? I am not where I’d hoped I’d be. I am, in fact, nowhere close. Since my “free time” – the time I use to write or do things not otherwise dedicated to work, family or sleep—is limited enough, mostly taken up with writing (and it’s not enough – roughly 60-90 minutes a day, most days of the week). Anything else that gets in the way of that I become resentful of, even if it’s stuff I like. I think it’s because writing is THE DREAM, THE PASSION and I do so want to be good at it and be published that it hurts…like other things are sucking time away from that passion. Other writers, you know what it is I speak of. And if you’re not, but maybe tennis is your thing or making jewelry or whatever it is that burns in your soul, just substitute it out. (I have no pretentions that my passions are any more important than anyone else’s.)
Maybe it’s this time of year. I bought a gardening book today, and have been to Vesey’s seeds website more than a couple of times in the past month. We certainly haven’t had a typical winter (milder and less snowy than most) but I am getting antsy for spring. I was sick for two weeks and couldn’t do much of anything – so that was half a month that disappeared into the ether. It’s almost March (where does the time go?) and I feel like I’m behind. Add into that that I’ve gone back to Beauty to edit it again (and for the last time I hope, until an editor says “I’ll take it, here are some suggested changes”), and put my current WIP on hold, and I wonder if I’m ever truly moving forward. Of course I am – I had a total epiphany about my writing earlier this month (which I will blog about soon) but now that I’m into the revisions I just want to be done already.
I’m trying to use that impatience to focus me and stay on task, and not to get resentful. (In this economy, I dare not fantasize about having large blocks of time off. Job loss is devastating for many.) Like Dame Thatcher, I’m prepared to wait it out and work it out if what I get at the end is a publishing contract. It’s just feeling a little tougher these days.
So, I will look at my gardening book and plan my vegetable garden and work on my revisions. And remember adages about patience while trying not to lose mine.